


In-Eff-Able in More than One Way

by PadawanNerd



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Agender Aziraphale (Good Omens), Agender Crowley, Apocalypse: Cancelled, Aromantic Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aromantic Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Cake, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Gen, Gender? I Hardly Even Know 'Er, Humor, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Spouses, Intellectual discussions, Marriage Proposal, No Pronouns for Aziraphale or Crowley, Other, Post-Canon, Queer Friendly, Queer author, Queerplatonic Relationships, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), Tea, but very casual, in which worms have entirely consumed author's brain, mildly unrealistic allo expectations from Anathema, so feel free to imagine any set you enjoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:35:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28817901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PadawanNerd/pseuds/PadawanNerd
Summary: The Ineffable Spouses meet up with Anathema to discuss Plot Device, gay marriage, and cake. Among other things.Or: in which two beings beyond mortal comprehension try to comprehend mortals.OR: a being of pure incorruptible light and a being of impure corruption and darkness get together to have intellectual discussions. And cuddle.
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 45
Collections: Aspec-friendly Good Omens, Queer Fics





	In-Eff-Able in More than One Way

**Author's Note:**

> For TINAA+, because if you want something done you have to do it yourself. So I did. 
> 
> This is my first fic of the New Year, so... Merry 2021!

Anathema shows up for tea at Aziraphale and Crowley’s cottage precisely on time; at least, so Aziraphale claims. Anathema highly doubts it: she has, after all, turned up completely unannounced. Nevertheless, both angel and demon seem happy to see her. Aziraphale makes tea (a special favourite), and apparently Crowley is just in the middle of baking a cake.

"And how's your son?" asks Aziraphale politely. "Paul, wasn't it?"

"His name is Plot," replies Anathema. "Plot Pulsifer."

“Plot?” Crowley grins and takes a place on the sofa next to Aziraphale, swinging an arm casually around the angel’s shoulders. "Good thing he didn't take your last name, eh?"

"Pardon?" says Anathema Device.

"... Never mind." Crowley leans back. "All well with young Newt then?"

"Oh, yes, fine," replies Anathema. "But I've been meaning to ask the two of you something."

"Oh, go on." Aziraphale twinkles genially.

"Stop _twinkling_ , angel, you're giving me a migraine."

"Sorry, demon."

"What I wanted to ask," continues Anathema, more forcefully, "is when you two are finally going to give up the friendship act and get married already?"

Crowley grunts in surprise. "Never really thought about it."

"I suppose we could make it official," shrugs Aziraphale. "A being of pure incorruptible light marrying a being of impure darkness and corruption, that’ll definitely turn some heads Upstairs. And Downstairs, for that matter…”

A moment, and then: “What do you think, Crowley? Shall we be husbands?"

"Spouses," corrects Crowley. "Unless you have a particular connection to the masculine gender."

Aziraphale nods thoughtfully. "You have a point. Let's be spouses, then."

"Wait -" Anathema holds up her hands. "I thought you guys were, you know. Gay."

"Gay?" Crowley raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, I s’pose. Or queer."

"I thought you'd be a bit more -" she hesitates - "you know. Flamboyant. Desperate to get in each other's pants. Pining."

“We _have_ swapped bodies before,” grins Crowley. “If that doesn’t count as getting into each other’s pants, I don’t know what does.”

Aziraphale frowns. "Never really understood that whole sex and romance business. Seems an awfully quick way to ruin a perfectly good -"

"Queer platonic -" interjects Crowley -

"Queer platonic relationship, yes, thank you, Crowley." Aziraphale gives Anathema a bright, sunny, smile. "A little pining. But only for the kind of deep intellectual discussion one can only have with a fellow immortal."

"And the occasional nice meal and a glass of wine," agrees Crowley. "And a cuddle, sometimes."

"And a cuddle," hums Aziraphale. "Yes, I think that qualifies as gay, don't you, Anathema?"

Anathema Device blinks, thinks about this for a while, and eventually decides: "Sure, why not."

"Wonderful," beams Aziraphale. "I am very glad that's all been sorted out. Now - demon, weren't you baking some cake?"

"Oh, heavens _above_ ," curses Crowley, just as chocolate-flavoured smoke begins to seep out of the kitchen. "I just _can't_ get the hang of anything other than brimstone..."

**Author's Note:**

> GNU Sir Terry Pratchett. Also, I wish Mr Shares My Name Gaiman a very pleasant evening.


End file.
